Flip It

I find myself once again inspired by those dear to my heart who have left behind their earthly bodies but still live on to bestow wisdom- or grace droplets as I think I'll call them from now on. Before I get to the inspiring part I'll give a little background.

This spring has been an especially difficult time for me and my family.  We held each other nervously through the winter as my dad went through a bone marrow transplant that resulted in a five month journey in the hospital. His journey was fulfilled with his death two-minutes to midnight on May 15th.  Even as his health got more dire, we all still lived in the hope that he would fight it out. Lord knows he did his best to get better, but it was just too much in the end.

We celebrated his life with family and many friends in New Jersey. After a long day and a 6 hour flight filled with bouts of tears, Trevor and I arrived back to our apartment in Berkeley to find that our corporately owned  apartment building is raising our rent 10%. Talk about insult to injury!

The last month I have been overwhelmed with trying to find a new apartment that is safe, wheelchair accessible, in a wheelchair accessible neighborhood, near public transportation and... affordable. All the while trying to negotiate some leniency with the corporate doohickies.  Not an easy assignment.  So here's me, feeling overwhelmed by life. Grieving and broke with all these other ailments that were just bringing me down- hard! And all I've been thinking is "I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T" - not very inspiring or grateful, huh?

I was prepared to write a new blog post ticking of all the things that were wrong, why I'm so helpless and life is so challenging. But then- intervention from Dadio! I was going through my gigantic box of papers  and I came across this little business card he gave me a few years ago.  On the very top it reads "Attitude= the difference between Ordeal and Adventure." And it was just like the proverbial switch,  my attitude just changed.  I tapped into my strength and realized I don't have to feel helpless, that my reality may not be ideal at this given moment, but I have options and opportunities. I just need to be aware of them. 

At this moment I feel positive with strength and love, so I need to remember this grace droplet so when that despair comes creeping back I can flip it.  Thanks dad!