Researchers find possible breakthrough to relieve pain following spinal cord injury

                                A collaborative research group – led by researchers at Cleveland Clinic – published findings that indicate a one-time injection immediately after spinal cord injury can limit pain for an extended period of time.

                           

Four Years But Whose Counting?

September 27th came and went with little fanfare and nary a thought.  It wasn't even on my radar  until the night before as Trevor and I were driving back from dinner with friends.  I asked Trevor what he thought about this upcoming anniversary.  What came to his mind is how much I have improved over the last few years- that there are so many things that I am able to do for myself now that we didn't even think possible.  Bravo for Trevor's positivity!  I myself felt that slight tinge of mourning I always feel of possibilities lost.  The "what if" portion of my process.  I usually fight this self indulgence, but being the eve of my TM onset anniversary,  I felt certainly justified in this guilty pleasure, and hey, it's less calories than an entire pint of ice cream- which I also felt deserved of.

The amazing thing was that I woke up this September 27th and it didn't cross my mind, not once all day.  I literally forgot all about it until the next day when I realized "hey- that day went by and nothing happened."  I did get one email from a friend on the day after who said she had been thinking about me, but I felt glad that she did not actually contact me the day of.  It just goes to show that life keeps moving forward.

I met a man tonight at yoga class ( yes, my first yoga class in four years!) who commented on my positive attitude of acceptance.  I said that I was accepting of my situation now as I strive to live in the moment, but I will not give up hope for the future and its possibilities of further recovery.

To demonstrate my idea of living in the moment- here is a short photo montage of a recent cycling event I participated in- a truly beautiful day- Cycling Photos

Stepping Out

Well, I did it folks.  No, I'm not walking, though I'm not giving up on miracles yet, whether they are from science or from some  "other source", the big news is that I have made another significant move towards independence.  Yesterday, I went out into the big, wide world all on my own, and you know what? It was exhilarating (and surprisingly easy).  The whole point of me and Trevor moving across the bay to Berkeley became crystal clear as I shut the door behind me, turned the key(with my special adaptive key device) and pushed my power assisted wheelchair down the long hallway, to the elevator and out.. the.. door. Freedom! Say what you want about Mel Gibson, but I felt like that dude in Braveheart as he bellowed out, "they'll never take our freedom!"  So I say to this disability!

My first foray consisted of getting picked up by Paratransit which is a bus system for us disabled folks.  It requires making an advance reservation, but it's door to door transportation for very little cost.  I went to a safe place, this new building call the Ed Roberts Campus that is home to many non-profits focused on disability issues and one organization has yoga classes.  It was my intention to go to a yoga class, but alas, it was cancelled.  Instead I checked out the facilities and enjoyed reading my book and chatting on the phone on the roof deck, shaded by an umbrella as the trees swayed in the breeze.  I was picked up a few hours later and delivered promptly to my doorstep by the driver. Success!

Trevor had at first been a little wary to let me venture forth without a dress rehearsal, but as the saying goes, "Life ain't no dress rehearsal!" In the end, Trevor was encouraging and proud and we celebrated yet another achievement.

So, where do I go from here? I have my laundry list of things to accomplish and as I check things off I will continue to add things on.  I recently read Christopher Reeve's autobiography, Still Me,  and yes, I found myself crying with abandon at many of the passages as he wrote with such honesty.  At the end, he reflects on how painful it is knowing he will never be able to do so many of the physical things he enjoyed doing, so he tries to not to linger on the past, but to "live as fully as possible in the present," no matter how difficult it may be.  Sound words of advice from an inspiring man.

Do I Have To?

My mother recently and gently mentioned that I hadn't posted anything on my blog for quite some time.  Apparently someone actually checked! Well I don't want to disappoint all my readers (Hi Mom!) so I am here to regale you all with an update.  Self-deprecating humor aside- there are reasons why I have avoided the update.  I suppose I feel when I started this blog my progress was much more tangible and dramatic.  When starting from the bottom, everything seems like a tremendous gain.  My progress is much less of the leaps and bounds and more like "where do I go from here?" So there it is- where do I go from here? My goals of walking and being fully functioning in a "normal" body- although still the ultimate dream- have now been replaced with how can I be more independent and go back to work while struggling with fatigue and constant pain?  So you see, these goals are a lot less fun and dramatic.  I don't think a video of me looking through craigslist for a new apartment would be very enticing.  But, I do continue on and am VERY thankful for all that I do have! I do have the most awesome, loving and caring husband. I do have supportive and loving friends and family.  I am so thankful for the gifts that have been given to my recovery fund.  I really cannot imagine my life without the security of knowing I am cared for.  So, to anyone reading this, big hugs and lots of love and light.  THANK YOU!  I will try and write more often. Promise.